I am very fortunate.
This may sound a little crazy when I am just one year past an ovarian cancer diagnosis and major surgery and still undergoing aggressive treatment. Still, it is true.
First and foremost, it has opened my heart to give and receive love and support more than I though possible. Second, it has helped me appreciate each day as the gift that it is.
Having had a long-term career as a nurse, primarily in Home Health and Hospice, I though I pretty well understood the ins and outs of cancer treatment. I did not. It involves being caught up in a whirlwind of decisions, options, questions and quandaries that I had only glimpsed as a caregiver RN. These tough questions and decisions and financial worries are overwhelming and I have thought many times are worse than the actual disease.
I chose current western medicine treatment because this was the environment I had developed comfort with though my twenty-five years of practice as a nurse. My family has been very supportive and they also gently made me aware of nutritional, herbal and alternative options that the medical establishment and big pharma in the U.S. for the most part ignore. So many options and so much information–it adds to the overwhelm.
Then the cost of treatment sinks in and takes its toll. In the U.S. system, medicine tries very hard to isolate the patient from the cost.The healthcare insurance system is upfront about insured premium costs, deductibles and co pays which we know are getting higher every year. But when the explanation of benefits arrives from the insurer showing what has been billed and paid, it is quite staggering. Sticker shock takes on a whole new meaning.
In order to maintain my healthcare insurance (because I am not Medicare eligible for another year), I must pay just under half of my total social security benefit each month. Not much left to pay rant, buy food, operate a vehicle, much less enjoy leisure pursuits.
Yet here is another reason I’m very fortunate. I have parents who are much better prepared for “the golden years” than myself and have been very generous in their support. I’ve also had to spend down about half of what I had saved for retirement in the year since the diagnosis.
Not knowing how long one has to live puts another spin on retirement planning. My cancer “came back” quite aggressively less than six months after initial surgery and chemo. I was not ready to throw in the towel. More decisions–more support.
How to maintain quality of life? How to embark on new adventures? Let’s go visit Mexico!!
[To Be Continued]